Perspectives - Matt

In the second of a series of blogs before we leave Matt discusses his perspectives on what we are about to do and discusses if his pre-conceived ideas may help or hinder.

"In 2002 along with a fellow Regiment officer I attempted to row across the Atlantic; we were not rowers but approached the entire expedition with enthusiasm and the confidence that regardless of what situations we faced that we would, ultimately, be successful.  Whilst we did succeed in rowing the ocean unsupported, we failed to complete the race we had entered.  But over the course of 78 days 5 hours and 43 minutes at sea we had, what can only be described as, an epic.  But the experience was unforgettable, and one I want to repeat.  At the time I didn't want the experience to end, and I quickly forgot the pain and hardship we had endured on a daily and hourly basis.

Boat Admin

But why work to put yourself through the extreme physical and mental stress?  This is an extremely difficult question to answer.  During the course of the row we learnt to be hungry; we had taken only 55 days of food and I had foolishly thrown some over board early in the journey.  We simply could not replace the calories burned by the punishing routine at the oars, that combined with the constant fear made us feel even more hungry.   We learnt to deal with the pain, the physical discomfort and the seemingly monotonous view from our very small floating home.  We learnt to laugh at the fact that we always seemed to have waves drench us, just as we were about to get into the dry cabin.  We learnt that we actually enjoyed what we were doing and accept that all our days were going to be wet, in fact we learnt to accept that everything including the cabin was going to be wet!  No day was like the previous apart from that we were getting hungrier!  We learnt to appreciate what we were doing and to love the experience. 

We were seemingly alone with nothing to do but row, eat and sleep and not always in that order.  We became so comfortable with our surroundings that conversation wasn't necessary as we had learnt to understand what each was feeling, thinking and about to do.  Our intermittent communications kept us in contact with the outside world, but we started to enjoy the feeling of being alone, as although there were 2 of us on the boat, our punishing schedule meant that we were on our own for most of the time.  We had nothing to worry about, other than the lack of food, the temperamental power system and poor communications kit.  But we were happy in our little bubble, and all the difficulties we were facing were just accepted as being part of our world.  We had learnt to accept the environment we were in and it all seemed to fall into place.

The end of the row - hindsight is a wonderful thing

Or is this a romantic 'rose tinted' view of an experience we endured.  I don't know as it seems like it happened in another life, but what I do remember is the fear during the early days and the hunger in the latter days.  Does this make it any easier for me entering into this expedition?  I really don't know, but at times I wish I wasn't as aware of how the early days of the expedition might be, as my frame if reference is already set. 

What I cannot afford to do is start to write the narrative now of how we (or I) will find those first few weeks.  That narrative will be written by our actions on the ice.  The expedition is something to be enjoyed and not necessarily endured as we chose to be where we are and have worked extremely hard and have been extremely well supported.

I hope you all enjoy reading the narrative of our journey as it starts to emerge in the coming weeks.  And I leave this post with some wise words from John Steinbeck.....

“For I have always…drunk hugely, eaten too much or not at all, slept around the clock or missed two nights of sleeping, worked too hard and too long in glory, or slobbed for a time in utter laziness. I’ve lifted, pulled, chopped, climbed...and taken my hangovers as a consequence, not as a punishment.”